~ .: Cozy Cot :. ~

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I was re-reading my past blog posts at my Scr@tch!n’P0st and came upon this entry 5 months ago (taken from http://shioan.livejournal.com/tag/love):

Boredom is now starting to get to me. You’ve probably heard about the time when I cried, simply because I couldn’t think of anything to do. Ah, the weird things adolescence can do to you. But now I’m way past that age. Well, I’m hoping at least. You tell me.

Last night, I was bugging Aimee (for random issues), Rhea (about HP), and even Maynard (on job-hunting in general), that I totally dimissed my attempt to cure my insomnia. I’ve already dimmed the lights, the room was cool, the bed was cozy, but it was only freaking 9:00 in the evening!!! Did I really expect myself to fall asleep on such an early hour? Hah! Who am I kidding?

Anyway, I ended up going online to catch up some matters with Aimee. Good thing I went because it cheered me up somehow after a while. You see, one major reason for my boredom is my jobless-ness. There, I said it. I want to work already. I want to earn my own money. I want to break free from this aggravating monotonous cycle called “Shioan-on-vacation”. My life is the same everyday. A few days ago, I started to feel the vibes of getting kicked out of the house. Haha, it’s really funny. I’ve always longed for a vacation like this. I even told myself once that I want to go on a vacation for one whole year before I start working/looking for work. Hah! Again, who am I kidding?

I have pending applications, just so you know. And I’m actually looking forward to IBM. But they still haven’t updated their job posting on JobStreet. Their meaning they have yet to start sorting out those who are qualified for the “Under Consideration” status. So I really don’t think that one is hopeless. Then, I have another one for Nestlé. I heard it was a good company. And I also heard (from Aimee) that they’re in need of licensed ECE so I went for it even though I wasn’t so sure of the qualifications, haha. But since I haven’t heard anything from them, I guess they’re looking for experienced ones. And not freshly grad ones.

Going to the Metro as a walk-in applicant is too troublesome for me. That’s my other problem.

So I asked Rhea-babes (thru text) about HP (actually I already did many times before so just tell me if you’re sick of answering my questions ^^;)

Me: Rhea babes, kung mgapply b ko sa hp ano mas ok, walkin or online?
Rhea: Send ka sakin ng resume. Un ang da best. Haha.

LOL, you just made my day, my love. ^^

Then, there’s also my parents nagging me to apply at Texas Instruments.

Okay, I will, I will.

You do know about TI building a plant in Clark Field Pampanga, ne? If I can work there, it’s going to be perfect. I mean I can go home everyday. I won’t have to worry about my budget probably. But then, I felt like I’m going to miss an important part of my life.

I’m going to miss the city.

T__T I’ve actually never imagined myself honestly saying that. When I’m in Manila, I want to go home. And I’ve always hated Sunday nights because I need to pack up. But when I think about it now, without me realizing it, I’ve gradually learned to be independent, that is, living on my own or at least without my parents watching over me. That’s why I rarely ask for their permission whenever I go to Felizia’s house with everyone. *oops…busted* Even during Krissy’s despedida, haha. Yes, I was in Pampanga the morning of that day. And I just went *POOF!* like a ninja in the afternoon and headed for Manila. I think the only time that I told them was during ECESEMS, when we went to Cebu, haha! I’m such a baaaaad daughter.

Somehow, I’ve gotten used to a life without anyone looking after me. I can live with some roommates of course. But it would be nice to actually have a place of my own, ne? That’s what I’ve been dreaming of since December. I’ve ranted about this many times with my roommates and they both agree with me. And I can’t achieve this if I work at TI. XP

If I’m in Manila, I’ll be a step closer to realizing this kind of life. I’ll definitely have to rent a place to stay. I can probably share it with someone *winks at Felizia* if it’s too expensive. Like what Aimee said, dun na ko lumaki. Come to think of it, she’s right. This is what I was trying to tell her last night. If I count the days I stayed in Manila from 1998 to 2006, I think they’re going to outnumber the days I stayed at home during those 8 years.

Anyway, going back to last night, I visited the DLSU homepage and voila! There’s going to be a Job Expo on July 2-6. ^^ That’s the reason why I went offline happy. And finally went to sleep with a clearer mind afterwards.

Oh, and did I mention that I was bored?

That’s why I’m here, wasting your time reading this crap.

I’m not even in the mood to write something fictitious. That’s why I’m writing about my boredom instead. I’m also not in the mood to just sit around and gawk at the TV or monitor. Seito Shokun! won’t update. Romeo X Juliet only comes out once a week. And so do Naruto manga and Shippuuden. Actually, I’ve started watching Nodame Cantabile but like I’ve said, I’m not in the mood to watch. It’s not the show. It’s me. It’s my pathetic mood. I honestly like the show, both anime and live-action. Waaaaahhh~~ Chiaki-sama!!! *gets smacked in the head by Chiaki* I love those smacking moments in the live-action.

Before I forget, I saw an episode of I Love My Younger Sister last night…out of sheer boredom, obviously. It’s got incest written all over it. I really don’t bother thinking about my stand on this issue. I only know that you’re not allowed to marry your kin. I know there’s already a proven scientific explanation for this. Something about the genes I think (, care to share?). Okay, they say incest is sick. Well, perhaps if you apply it to your own situation, then you’ll probably throw up just by thinking about it. But when I was already watching the show, I dunno, I honestly couldn’t find anything wrong with it. I even pitied the guy. And I actually found it cute, him being in love with his twin sister. Who knows, there might be some twists in the end.

Btw, why are there so many Romeo X Juliet bashers out there? Saying how the series is the worst adaptation of Romeo and Juliet. Yes, it can be likened to an AU fic turned anime. But hey, as far as literature is concerned, I don’t think there’s a law that prohibits one’s imagination to go as far as throwing some winged creature into a Shakespearean setting. I really hate people who are so narrow-minded. Can’t even appreciate some little twists. Anyway, going back to the incest issue, aren’t Juliet and Tybalt cousins? Then again, it was allowed during that time.

Ho-hum…Aimee also asked me why I was crying a few nights ago. I’m not so sure if I should talk about it because you might think I’m crazy. And I’m wondering myself. Until now, I’m still thinking of the right words to explain it. That’s why I decided to put it in the last part. For some obvious reasons (which you will realize later), I can’t seem to bring myself to speak about it because it sounds downright abnormal. But whenever you’re confused, the only thing you could do is pray, right? That’s why I said, God talked to me. And I felt better afterwards. Because I realized that however absurd it might sound, the least (and probably the best) I could do is to simply be honest with my feelings.

I’ve really fallen for a guy I haven’t even met.
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.
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Oh, no…not this thing again. (You are most welcome to skip this entry.)

But how could that be? (Indeed. That’s why I said it’s crazy. Don’t listen to me anymore.)

Maybe you’re in love with him because you have yet to know him, see his flaws and all… (Yeah yeah, you’re probably right. So stop reading already.)

Then quit it! Get real! Forget about this stranger for your own good and sanity! (I can’t! I can’t! I tried, I swear. That’s why I was praying that if it’s not meant for us to at least get to know each other, then please, by all means, take this feeling away.)

Now.

I don’t want to waste such precious feelings for some hopeless case.

But no. It just grows everyday. I can feel it. @_@

I’ve had crushes in the past. A good lot of childish ones. And those feelings of infatuation all went away in time. So it makes me wonder why this feeling now won’t go away just like before (I’ve had it for 3 whole years now).

That is my question: a big black puzzling WHY?

It really frustrates me. I don’t see him very often. In fact, I raaaaarely see him. I don’t have any solid grounds to be this smitten with him. Heck, I don’t even know his name. And I doubt he knows mine. But I do have a feeling that he knows me.

Damn, I am soooo love-struck that I’ve already accepted the fact that he could be 4 or 5 years younger than me a long time ago.

That’s why I was crying. I couldn’t do anything about it. I could only put my faith to the Great Guy up there.

Just his name, I’ll be very very satisfied. Perhaps, if I believe, and this faith will not be swayed, then perhaps that fateful day will eventually come. They say that good things come to those who wait. If God would heed my prayers, then I could only promise Him one thing: I shall take really good care of this gift He will give me.

Like I’ve said before, if Love Is All Around were a person, it would be him…and vice-versa. So for as long as I listen to that wonderful song, I don’t think I’ll ever fall out of love with him.

I couldn’t even imagine myself forgetting about him. Kung di sya, di bale na lang.

That being my case, I consider myself as special. We are all special in our own way, of course. And I think this is one of the reasons that I am.

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.
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After writing this, I’ve realized that I just need to unload these thoughts so I can finally go back to my usual pace. Of course I haven’t narrated everything yet, especially some other bits about the last part. But I think I’ve shared enough (I hope you get the picture) so I’ll simply leave it as that for now.

Sorry, this is just another dose of my occasional drama so please bear with me.

Oh, yeah. It’s called my life.

wala lang. I just wanna be honest with my feelings. So help me God. @_@

well, it’s final. I’m going to Baguio City to work as an apprentice at TI for the next 5 months. great, isn’t it?
but this sudden turn of great events just ruined all my short-term plans. and I’m not the least bit happy. though I couldn’t possibly hate it. :\

*takes a deep breath*

the week-long orientation will start on Monday, Sept. 3, at 7:30 am. and we’ll be staying at the Mountain Lodge Teachers’ Camp (wherever that is) during the program. the following Monday marks our first day as apprentices.

…I am excited as much as I am disappointed.

we’ve decided we’ll go look for a place where I could live on Sunday, Sept. 2. we’ll leave early in the morning (around 4-5 I think) to maximize the daylight, since my family also needs to go back home in Pampanga. but whether we scout and find a place tomorrow or any day before Sept. 2, I still have to be there on Sunday because the orientation starts at 7:30 am the next day. that means, still early departure on Sunday so they can arrive home by sunset.

but what’s the big day before Sunday?

it’s Saturday, Sept. 1, aka the much awaited PSHS Alumni Homecoming wherein Batch 2002 are the youngest jubilarians. wherein the party will surely last till midnight. wherein I can’t possibly go home at such hour, so I need to spend the night at some friend’s house. good thing, I have PinkBonnet for that. well, thank you. I really appreciate it. VERY MUCH! ^_^

but spending the night over means going home on Sunday, which greatly contradicts my agenda for that day.

how am I supposed to party all night, go home the next day, then leave for Baguio right after I arrived home?

NO. I can’t do that.

and sadly, the only practical solution I can think of now is to NOT attend the homecoming anymore.

which awfully breaks my heart into million splinters.

…………..

it sucks, I know.

unless you can find a much better solution for me.

anyhowds, initially we’ve scheduled a PinkBonnet overnight on Aug. 31. now I’m thinking maybe we can still go on with that then I’d just skip the party and go home. T__T

and that’s not all. my disappointment doesn’t end there.

the fiesta concert, the battle of the bands, etc., which we’ve worked so hard for in preparing, I won’t be able to see it. EVERYTHING!!! …enough said. =__=

but of course, I am sane enough to know how to sort out my priorities, even if it pains me so much. what dismays me is that I’ve looked forward to these things, simple things, and just when they’re only days away, BAM!!!

[EDIT] naiiyak na ako…gusto ko talagang pumunta ng homecoming. @_@

okay, where should I begin?

oh, yes! the relaunching of the TGQ community for the live-action. I fixed the layout. the previous one was a little dull. just black with no sense of identity whatsoever. haha, you get the idea.

last night as I was browsing the earlier chapters of Naruto 2, looking for a nice shot of Sai (don’t ask), I stumbled upon this:

Sai’s brother (not by blood)
is it me or does he look a bit like Suigetsu?

then finally finally finally!!! “Answer” by FLOW mp3 ^_^ get it here if you’re interested.

ho-hum…I want to join this logo-making contest for a company. the first prize winner gets Php100k in cold cash + PACKAGE TOUR FOR TWO (2) TO JAPAN, dheym!

it’s open to all employees and my uncle (who works there) is encouraging me to make one for him. ^^; then we’ll split the prize if his entry wins. the company? it’s called TeaM Energy, the new name of the power plant in Pagbilao, Quezon. Read the news: Japanese group completes purchase of Mirant plants

and I shall continue with my house chores tomorrow. bumming is and not fun.

no muse output for July so woe is me. ~_~

July is nearing its end. And it looks like you won’t be seeing a new chapter for My Bed is a Portal come the 31st. ~blech~ *gets shot by everyone in Dormant Muses* But but but…I couldn’t possibly fit brainstorming and coming up with an excellent narration into my schedule.

The first week was spent for job-hunting.

The second week for job interviews and occasions.

The third week for well…random fandom, otakuness, and insanity.

The fourth week -same as above- + another job interview.

And now, 3 more days left. *sigh*

But I’m trying…I’ve already written some, say, half a page? *bangs head on keyboard* I’m really, terribly, annoyingly hopeless!!! It’s frustrating. >_>

………

I might just draw.

Finished the last 3 episodes of Tantei Gakuen Q last night. I know, took me long enough. anyway, since there were only 3 episodes left, I decided to continue with the live-action afterwards. you should’ve seen me LMAO-ing in bed until 4 am in the morning. XD

TGQ anime

Is it me or did the end seem a bit rushed? especially the thing about Pluto. I think they failed to develop well that side of the story. it was already the third to the last episode and not much has been revealed yet about Pluto. or maybe I wasn’t paying that much attention? >.>

or maybe there’ll be season 2! after all, Dan-sensei’s abduction was just like any of the other cases. aside from seeing everyone in action, the case was so ordinary for them. it was so easy to guess who the spy was actually. when you kidnap somebody, do you normally let your target’s companion go just like that?

and I wish they didn’t put in a blushing Megu, lol! save that for the live, please! XD later…

I like Ryuu. really. if only his hair wasn’t too disturbing. and I keep seeing Neji in him. ^^;

One more thing I realized last night (which was rather stupid)… Sailor Pluto’s civilian name is Setsuna Meiou, hahaha! ^^ actually, I never really looked up the meaning of the outer senshi’s names.

TGQ live

How is it like? I saw episodes 1 and 2. the series starts with them enrolled already at DDS. so I guess we won’t be seeing the same stuff as in the anime. the story of the 2 cases so far are original (I think, I haven’t seen the manga yet). I liked the first case especially (I’m proud to say that I noticed one important clue the same time Kyuu did). but some of the tricks/clues/alibis/etc. were taken from the orginal work. it’s actually nice seeing these bits being incorporated in the live. but since you already know them, it’s kinda spoilerish. the surprise actually comes in when you spot them. that’s the fun part for me. and I guess I was right in watching the entire series first before the live so I could appreciate the characters more, hahaha!!! later…

also, I liked it that Pluto was mentioned right away in the first episode. so that sounds like a promising storyline. ^^

What about the characters? Believe me, the casting director found the perfect actors for Class Q. great acting, so in-character. there are some OOC instances, yes, but the delivery was still good. unlike in the anime though, in the live they treat each other as rivals except for Kyuu (he’s so adorable!). they keep denying they’re friends and one big happy family, which was really funny.

I must say Ryuu is the most OOC but like I’ve said earlier, they’re a good bunch of actors and I’m really in love with the new Ryuu now. GA~~~WD!!!! Yamada-kun, the actor, supeeeeeeeer galing nya! siyeeeet ang galing nya pramis! AS IN!!! sorry, di ko kinaya. I have to speak in Tagalog to best express my fangirliness. I feel like crying (and screaming like a crazy fangirl) whenever I think of that particular scene in episode 1. one thing that didn’t change in Ryuu’s character was his hatred for Pluto. and I soooooo love that scene because Yamada-kun really did an excellent job in protraying that side of Ryuu’s character. it was probably something you won’t expect the Ryuu now to do. so there, I was giggling like heck. and I replayed that scene for about ten times. ^^; oh yeah, he likes putting his hands in his pockets. ang angas tuloy ng dating, hahaha! and he looks like a girl. ang pretty nya, siyeeeeet!

w0o0t~~

Damn, I am seriously becoming a Yamada Ryousuke fan. *gets shot for pedoness* save me before it’s too late. =_=

do we have some girl’s clothes here?

LOL, it’s good to be alive!!!!!

Megu is cute. as in reeeeally cute. everyone at CR says so. and I love the way she interacts with Kyuu (and vice-versa). and how she scolds him, bullies him, ignores him whenever he insists that the five of them are all friends. and how she jokingly flirts with him. I like her acting. so natural, like she really enjoys her character.

Kyuu is adorable and so naive. he stutters whenever Megu turns cute and all. there’re so many funny scenes with him and it would be stupid if I enumerate them all. just watch it. all I can say is that his acting, just like everyone else’s, is so spontaneous. no need for him to try so hard. it just comes out naturally. and I wouldn’t be surprised if I suddenly turn into a Kyuu/Megu shipper, hahahaha!!! then Ryuu shall be mine!

Kazuma is still a bit snobbish but that’s just the way he is. I love the way he looks down on the four and makes fun of their analog-ness.

Kazuma (to Kyuu): You really are analog all throughout.

Kinta…well, he’s Kinta all throughout. what you expect him to be is what he is so that’s good. ^^

Nanami-sensei is sticking to his character as the king of disguise…er, with the cactus and all.

and oh! I like their headquarters. and how they receive the missions. parang Weiss Kreuz. XD

as for Hongo Kanata’s appearance in episode 2…it was fun seeing two actors, whose respective fans think they resemble each other, interact with each other. but now, I don’t think so. Kamiki-kun’s eyes are curved upwards. Kanata’s eyes are straighter. ^^

I wonder where I can download the opening and ending themes… oh oh! I found “Answer” by FLOW at imeem. ganda talaga nito. ^^

Watchlist update:
- TGQ 43-45
- TGQ live
- Ikemen Paradise
- NANA 44-46
- NANA Movie 2
- Shippuuden 20
- Saiunkoku II 2
- Romeo X Juliet 13, 14
- Kamen Rider Black (ohohohohooo~~)

cute, ne?

as much as I loved imeem before, I kinda hate it now because of its campaign for copyright fair use principles. I have nothing against it really. I just find it rather incovenient and disappointing. what’s the use of embedding your music (even the ones you own/have bought CDs of and uploaded) in your website/journal/etc if people can only hear 30 seconds of it? I know this is only for the mean time as they are now starting to get permissions from the concerned artists to stream their music. but they should’ve thought about this since the beginning. or at least figured out a less risky way to provide music services. and not surprise people by making them wonder where the hell the rest of their songs have gone.

so last night I was looking for a good substitute and stumbled upon Mp3Profiles. it’s a good site I think as far as user-friendliness and copyright infringement issues are concerned. since you need to host your own music (I use Ripway) and all Mp3Profiles provides you is the player, I really don’t see any bearing on the IP issues. the owner of the mp3 must have bought the CD or at least acquired a copy of it legally. anyhow, I’m sure no harm was intended.

I know imeem is not just about music sharing/embedding. it’s core purpose actually is to let you listen to your playlists even while away from your own PC…or so I thought.

Mp3Profiles still needs to develop its features though. and I think not too many people know about it yet as there are barely 100 users online whenever I visit. I guess in time it will improve like allowing you to have more songs (max is 40 as of now) and make different playlists. and since I’m not so much of a hardcore music geek, for me it’s enough to satisfy my fancies.

ang saya sa Lasalle kanina. I’m not sure why but I found the day rather amusing. siguro dahil matagal na kong nakabakasyon, hehe.

may pep rally kanina. u-break kasi. ok, so sila pala ang mga Archers ngayon. haha, dormmates ko nga dati ung iba! ^^;

went back to the jobfair to submit my resumé sa HP. nakakatuwa kasi si Nikolai (Mangahas) ang nagbabantay ng booth (I wasn’t expecting that, pano kaya kung sina Rhea-babes bigla). asteeeg…HP pala siya. so syempre, go na go ako. iba na ang may kakilala, biglang nawala hiya ko LOL! ^^

speaking of kakilala, thanks to Tim (Chua) and Drew (Co) for being there and encouraging us to apply sa P&G (haha! kahit alam ko na super liit ng % na matanggap ako, asa pa ko…) so ayun, biglang nagbago ihip ng hangin. napa-apply tuloy ako nang wala sa oras, haha! wala talaga akong balak pero wala din namang masama. kaka-submit ko lang ng resumé online and the assessment thingy.

may Globe din pala, di ko napansin sa list. under Ayala kasi. and everyday, iba ang nandun sa booth ng Ayala.

balik ako ulit tomorrow dahil sa Smart. then sa Friday for the P&G exam. *sigh*

si Carlos (Lasa) pala P&G din. at si Dominic of Pisay03. remember Dominic and Ash? pinagtalunan pa ata namin non kung sino sa kanila ang girl and boy. ^^;

anyway, kakanood ko lang ng Ikemen Paradise (aka Hana Kimi) sa YouTube. links here. no subs but I understood it somehow. O.O na-challenge ang aking japanese language comprehension. na-gets ko nga ung isang joke e.

Jerc wants to have a B.A.Y.A.G. spread sa Lagablab2002. sabihan nyo lang ako kung magkano at kanino ko bibigay ung money.

and you’ve probably seen this.

sana may Mika Brzezinski ang Pinas. XD

This chapter is somewhat special for two reasons: (1) it contains my favorite scenes so far, which I’ve been mulling over for 3 months now since my review days, and (2) this is my response to the challenge in Dormant Muses for the month of June. So without further ado, may I present…

Chapter 6: Reasons to Live

Then, Alessyr came up to her to give some consolation. “Let it be. You’ll go crazy if you try to understand everything,” he mouthed casually. “The best way to get the picture is to simply accept everything out there and live, believing that someone great is working behind it. After all, your existence is the sole end product of this ingenuity. And we were not created to figure out how we came to be.” Read more…

Afterthoughts: Also, this chapter is composed entirely of the scenes I’ve decided to do away with in the previous chapter, putting them off to the next. But I never expected them to be a whole chapter long so I guess it was a good move. Actually, there’s still one more scene which I could’ve included here but then decided to just open the next chapter with it (again). So now, writing for me is like solving a math problem *gasps* because when I’m nearing the end of the chapter, I’d suddenly realize, “Hey, I can cut it here!” Similar to “Eureka!” after spending ten sheets of yellow paper doing the Fourier Series of a periodic function.